Level 2 X Level 1
General/Specific X Desire X CPER
In the Servant Program we are saying that our most General Desire is to develop Relationships. Compatible Relationships bring us Sustainable Joy. Thus this Desire can’t be exchanged or sacrificed for any other. It is a core Desire for the majority of people. All other Desires can be nested within this General one. It’s up to you to verify this. Is it true? Is it possible to live without Compatible Relationships? Is it possible to be happy without them? Within this question you are prompted to research what relationships (in general) are or what their purpose is in order to figure out if they are indeed our most General Desire. And if they are, what exactly are they? What is a relationship? Why are relationships so important to everyone? Why do we need to develop Compatible Relationships in order to obtain Sustainable Joy (Effect)?
I've also researched the concept of Sustainable Joy. You may also want to do that. For a time I saw Sustainable Joy as our most General Desire. And I still think it is. But I think that is too General a conclusion for the purpose of the Servant Initiative. I've taken one step towards the Specific in order to talk of something more tangible and graspable by identifying Compatible Relationships in marriage, family, and community as the means by which each of us obtains Sustainable Joy. I believe our relationship with God is predominant within each of these relationships. He is our General Cause. As we develop our Specific Relationships with others, we develop our relationship with him. That's why I don't have the development of our relationship with God as a separate Desire.
Level 2 X Level 3
General/Specific X Balance/Imbalance
You may also desire to research the concept of Balanced Relationships. This is just a synonym for Compatible Relationships. Adding the Compatible or Balanced adjectives to the research you have already done on Relationships in General will give you more to figure out and differentiate between. We can develop relationships but if they are not compatible, we may believe that avoiding relationships is what brings us the greatest happiness. So what is a Compatible (Balanced) Relationship? What is an Incompatible (Imbalanced) Relationship? What differentiates them from one another?
I have chosen to make Compatible or Balanced Relationships as the General Desire we're talking about in the Servant so you may have already researched this. So this multiplication tool may be to take a good look at the opposite - an Incompatible or Imbalanced Relationship. It's an opportunity to evaluate what creates Imbalances and how are they resolved? Are there some Imbalances that can't be resolved given the agency of the members of the relationship?
Level 2 X Level 4
General/Specific X Physical/Spiritual
What is a Physical Relationship? What is a Spiritual Relationship? How are these different from one another? How are they similar? Comparing and contrasting Physical Relationships with Spiritual Relationships gives us greater knowledge of both. It often enables to fill in the missing pieces in our understanding. It validates, solidifies, and gives evidence of things which might otherwise remain a mystery.
Level 2 X Level 5
General/Specific X Paradoxical/(Ascetic/Survival)
When we identify our Desire, we can be too General or too Specific. If we are too General, we may say that our Desire is to develop a Relationship that will make us happy. That’s a given. We need to spend more time observing, pondering, and considering our more Specific Desires. What kind of relationship is this? What are our personal expectations of our Specific Person? What expectations aren’t being met? Are the expectations appropriate or do we need to change our expectations?
If we are too Specific, we may say that our Desire is to develop a Compatible Relationship with a Specific Person. But if that person does not also have this Desire or his expectations of us and the relationship are in conflict with ours and neither of us are willing to sacrifice those expectations, the best solution may be to change our Specific Desire. We may need to let go of our hope of developing this specific kind of relationship with this Specific Person and return to the General goal of developing Compatibility with the people in our lives. Just because we can’t develop a specific kind of relationship with a Specific Person doesn’t mean we can’t have a different kind of relationship with him that is in fact compatible. Usually that’s the best solution. For example, maybe we’ve tried for years to develop a compatible marriage with a certain person with no signs of success, but when we instead focus our efforts on developing a compatible friendship with him – separating to a greater degree, success is achieved.
Finding the balance between being too General and too Specific in the identification of our Desires is a Resource. It’s a skill. Developing it enables us to have a greater ability to develop Compatible Relationships. So the research that needs to be done at this level is on identifying what too General and too Specific are and why we tend to veer off to one side or the other.
Level 2 X Level 6
General/Specific X Commitment
What are Commitments? Why do we make them? What are the benefits of making them? What are the sacrifices? When should we stand steadfast in the commitments we have made and when should we seek to change them? This is a chance to research Commitments in General aside from the Specific Commitments we may have made in our relationships. This enables us to see both sides of an often controversial subject. Why have rules, laws, boundaries? Why should Commitments be made in relationships before privileges are given? When we understand how we are personally being sustained and cared for by the Commitments others have made to us, we begin to realize how important our own Commitments are to those with whom we have relationships and ourselves.
We can also sort out what to do in Specific situations when a relationship to which we are committed is continuously ending in failure. Even though there is a general commitment between two people, one or both may not be keeping the specific commitments that enable the relationship to be Compatible. What should be done then? Which is more important: continue keeping the general commitment with the failure results (Incompatible Relationship) or break the general commitment and repurpose the Specific Relationship under a different set of commitments in order to achieve Compatibility? The goal is Compatibility. We should be willing to sacrifice less important Specific Desires in order to obtain it. Each of us has Specific Desires that can't be sacrificed because they are what makes us who we are. For example, we may have chosen a Cause to whom we have committed previous to our Specific Person. If these two relationships come into unresolvable conflict, we will eventually have to make a choice between them. These are extremely difficult decisions. When we research the purpose behind commitments, we are better equipped to make the best decision for all involved.
Level 2 X Level 7
General/Specific X Success/Failure
What is Success? What is Failure? When we have obtained a Desire we have had in the past, meaning we have developed a Compatible Relationship with someone, how did it turn out that way? What was the story? What was the initial Desire? How was it obtained? We can research our own story or someone else’s. A good story is one that ends in success – a Compatible Relationship. But we can also learn a lot from stories that end in failure – Incompatible Relationships. We can analyze what happens to individuals, families, and communities when Incompatible Relationships predominate. This level enables us to look at the entire story because we’re researching relationships that have already been developed in the past. We’re able to see the whole picture. When Compatible Relationships are developed, why is that a success? What else happens? Why is that valuable to us? When Incompatible Relationships are developed, why is that a failure? What else happens? Why is that a conflict for us?
